how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize