8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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