I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
home. puking in laundry basket.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize