Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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