I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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