"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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