remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
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The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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