omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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