sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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