2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize