mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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