I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize