Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize