I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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