she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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