There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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