sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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