I want to make a zoo with you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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