so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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