69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize