Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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