I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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