tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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