I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize