It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
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I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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