He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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