He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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