The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize