Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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