Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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