you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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