I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize