So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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