Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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