WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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