I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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