And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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