just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize