I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
did i walk over a car last night?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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