I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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