just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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