So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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