she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize