idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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