And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize