You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize