take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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