Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize