I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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