His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize